Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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