One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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