That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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