i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
