I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
