Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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