Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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