I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
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i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
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What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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