im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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