Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
