i may or may not be watching the land before time
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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