Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize