you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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