I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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