i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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