hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
