dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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