just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.