***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
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