This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
