been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
