I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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