Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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