I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
