they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I checked into jail on foursquare
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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