Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
