last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
