You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
this just has baby written all over it
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
