there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
