Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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