life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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