Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
