Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
