your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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