tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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