it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she peed on how many people?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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