i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
