You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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