you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just found puke in my bra..
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize