Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
