the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
