my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
