She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
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Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
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He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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