You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
So much Jack, so little girl.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
