No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
