ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
