This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
