Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
birth control should be required to get into college
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
