Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
