i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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