I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize