I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
