Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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