Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
