All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize