We're like a lot better than the average bears
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Mom said you looked used
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
